Time Warner. If you’re not laughing yet you will be.

I wish to God Almighty I was making this up. I have NEVER in my 20+ years as a network/infrastructure engineer said this to a customer. I haven’t even considered it. It was always a joke you told colleges but never, ever said with any honesty to a customer.

Time Warner said the following:

“Solar activity this time of year causes issues with internet and television service.”

Are you f*cking kidding me? I was floored, shocked, flabbergasted, stupefied, dazed, speechless. I almost forgot to breath.

We all know Time Warner’s internet service sucks so bad I’d rather have Comcast service. Ouch. Did I say that? Oh yeah, Comcast just bought Time Warner. That’s another rant, but I digress.

To SERIOUSLY tell a customer something like this is beyond irresponsible. The fact that Time Warner’s on site technicians are telling customers this is worse. The fact that management is telling their techs to tell customers this is worse than worse.

Really? Solar activity? We’re not paying for cellular service. We’re not paying for satellite service. We’re paying for WIRED CABLE SERVICE. Service that traverses SHIELDED COAXIAL CABLE. Do I really need to spell out WHY it’s shielded?? Do I need to explain that domestic internet does not traverse satellites?!

I understand that in some cases TELEVISON service may be impacted by “solar activity”, but if your sending your internet over satellite there’s an issue. A major one. Especially since this service is in NEW YORK CITY – Manhattan. There is NO NEED for internet traffic to EVER hit a satellite in the largest city in the country.

“That’s what our manager said to tell customers”, the tech told me. Really?! I’m a network engineer by trade. That’s the biggest load of BS I’ve ever heard. If solar activity was THAT BAD we’d have WAY MORE issues that dropped packets and really bad round trip times. We’re talking cellular outages and power grid problems. Haven’t had those issues is quite some time.

Time Warner- you suck. Your customer service sucks. Don’t lie to customers. Especially when this customer knows his networking. Solar activity my ass. Thank God you don’t provide wireless services. I can only imagine the stupid excuses you’d provide for your inability to do your job right the first time.

Update- the “solar activity” tech called me back after his replacement of the modem miraculously fixed the issue and said that they are making 150/50 service standard. Really? You can’t give me 5Mb upstream service reliably with business class and you’re going to give home customers this? Dear God help us all. 

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Author: Helicopter Jeff

I'm a vinyl decal cutting and designing, Astrophotography and general photography capturing, RC helicopter/quad copter pilot, Arduino and Raspberry Pi hardware/software developer, network, scripting and troubleshooting ninja living in the metro NY area. I am passionate about my hobbies so much I do them for a living. There's nothing better than getting paid to do what you love.

5 thoughts on “Time Warner. If you’re not laughing yet you will be.”

  1. Yes, I understood that PID was needed but I have no idea where to begin lol. I’ll be keeping an eye on your blog this year to see if you come up with anything 🙂 For now I think I’m going to have to go with the on/off as well but the lamps I have are dimable so I fear that switching on/off is going to shorten the lives of mine. Can’t have everything I guess! I know I can get a dimmer and plug my lights into it, wonder if anyone has ever done anything with a servo motor on a manual dimmer… I saw motors on an Etch-A-Sketch one time, something like that might work for me too. I’ll keep searching, thanks!

    1. Oh you should see the contraption I came up with using a servo…I’ll post pictures tonight. PID is the only way to go but tuning has been tough. You may have just reignited my fire for finishing this one!

  2. Hi Jeff,

    I noticed some of your previous posts about the arduino controlled climiate for your bearded dragons (comments sections on those were closed, had to post here, sorry!). I’m wondering if you’re using heat lamps and were able to setup a thermostat for auto dimming them based on temperature or if you used a relay on/off type control? I’m really interested in having a “dimming theromostat” for my heat lamps but have been unable to find any schematics/code to do exactly what I’m looking for 🙂 Thanks!

    1. I use a heat lamp with on/off. I had been fussing around with a dimmable solution but ran across an issue with the code to manage the dimming- PID is a set of functions to do this but i haven’t had time to get it to work. The other issue is that the lamps we use aren’t made to dim and that dimming them will shorten their lives.

      I hope to get to mess with the PID code again this year.

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